What the World Needs now is LOVE Sweet LOVE

Self Empathy

Empathy: An important component of Compassionate Communication

Self Empathy is Built on 3 components

  • Presence
  • Feelings
  • Needs

Self-empathy:  When we are emotionally stimulated, we turn toward ourselves and offer warm compassionate presence to our pain, this is soothing self care. Our goal is to self-connect and to be with ourselves in our pain. Our goat is not to shift, it is to self connect; the shift is the by-product. Bringing awareness to our breath and slowing down is helpful. It can be as simple as acknowledging and giving space to our pain. When we approach our emotional pain with compassionate presence and allowing, an organic shift begins. 

Self empathy is being with the experience and not trying to change it. It is a body experience not a mental experience. We feel our feelings and connect to our needs. We may begin to feel some relief and a shift in consciousness. When we are more self-connected, our body softens and begins to relax.

Self Empathy can: 

  • Re-open our hearts and bring compassionate allowing presence to our own emotional pain
  • Open us up to new creative solutions that were clouded over by disconnection
  • Transform pain which gives us more inner spaciousness to eventually invite the other person’s needs into our heart.
  • Bring new understanding to our pain
  • Inspire more willingness to guess the other person needs
  • Connect us with our humanity because we all share these universal needs (what enriches your life)

Offering Empathy to Another

What is empathy? Marshall Rosenberg said that empathy is what happens before we open our mouth.

What is empathy? When we are fully present and listening deeply to understand the other person. We are empty and with them in compassionate heart-felt presence. We are not holding an agenda regarding an outcome. We are with them in full presence, attention and intention. Empathy is deeply rooted in empathic presence and is more about the energetics than the words. We are with the person, in their shoes, and not trying to take them anywhere. There is no end goal as we are not directing them. We are not leading them. 

It’s important to note, empathy doesn’t mean agreement with the other’s point of view – it just means we are wanting to understand how it is for them, particularly at the level of needs.

How often do we slow down and really listen deeply to another? Usually we can’t wait until the other person stops talking, so we can talk. Empathy with presence is a different way of showing up in the World. It is soul nourishing and a gift to experience this deep quality of resonance with another. 


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